example

tiny fingers
linger

just a blink

kitty dishes
on
chubby knuckles

will find themselves
in a sink

will find themselves
building, comforting

reaching

for what we show
is
worth the reach

Boys Go To Work and Girls Stay at Home

Today I met a very lovely mommy from Ireland at the playground who has lived here in Jersey for seven years.  As we discussed the challenges of being a stay-at-home, she said that she is concerned about her daughter's impression of a woman's role.  Her daughter has said that "boys go to work and girls stay home."  Her mother has been pointing out women she and her daughter encounter in professional positions and explains to her that they are at "work."  


I said her daughter (a three year old) is probably old enough for her to explain that although she isn't leaving home to work, she is in fact doing a very difficult and important job.  Also, now that I'm thinking of it...her daughter is probably old enough to understand her if she explains that she is staying home to raise her herself and to teach her things only she could teach her.


Anyhow, it just resonated with me.  As mothers, guilt follows us everywhere.  She was very happy in a career role, but with all of their family in Ireland, just couldn't get comfortable with leaving her little one with strangers (which is exactly why I decided to take time off from my career).


I hope that the love with which she has made her choices is what makes an impression on her daughter over time.  I hope the same for myself and for other stay at home moms and dads who decide that they are willing to sacrifice the income and the social respect that come with having a professional career in order to raise their own children.

Things I Learned From My Mom, Wonder Woman, and Morgan Fairchild

Today while "putting on my face," as my mom used to say, I thought about the time I take each day in doing so.  I do this even if I'm not going anywhere.  Sometimes it feels like a chore and sometimes it feels like a treat.  Most of the time it feels like a small place in my day where I can go and just be the woman I dreamed of being as a little girl.

My little girl image of a grown up woman was a mixture of 10 % Wonder Woman, 10 % Morgan Fairchild ("Dallas", anyone?), and 60% my mother with the other 20% being filled in by other random characters, such as Joan Jett.  I watched my mom apply liquid eyeliner every day and do her hair-I asked her where we were going.  She replied, "Nowhere, I just feel better after I put on my face."  I could see that she did, too.  Her mood was lifted, plus, she was gorgeous.  Morgan Fairchild gave me the impression that I would have a fancy bedroom and have my slippers at the bedside when ready for bed.  Which I do (not so much a fancy bedroom, but slippers by the bed, anyhow)...and I religiously apply cream to my hands and feet before bed as well.  Wonder woman instilled in me the idea that with the right accessories...boots, arm bands, corset-I could leap over buildings and fight injustice all while looking extremely hot.

So, as I do my make-up I have a special time to myself.  My husband knows that the kids should not be in the room with me during this time if at all possible.  He entertains them downstairs.  On weekdays I usually do this during Ever's (my 18 month old) nap or before she wakes. It's quiet and it's a luxury to sit at my vanity and do my thing.  Some days I put thought into my outfit...other days (like today), I'm in my husband's t-shirt and some shorts.  No matter about the outfit, I feel pretty.

If I think on how many times Eric (my husband) has commented on my appearance vs. housework it's a no brainer.  He very often thanks me for making the effort (even though he knows it's more for me than anything or anyone else), he may not say "Wow, you did your makeup," but he'll take a look at me and say something about how beautiful or how sexy I am. 

So, if you ever find yourself in a frumpslump (as I like to call it), bust out your makeup kit.  It doesn't take much-you know what your basics are that make you feel like yourself.  Take care of yourself...the laundry isn't going anywhere.