Things I Learned From My Mom, Wonder Woman, and Morgan Fairchild

Today while "putting on my face," as my mom used to say, I thought about the time I take each day in doing so.  I do this even if I'm not going anywhere.  Sometimes it feels like a chore and sometimes it feels like a treat.  Most of the time it feels like a small place in my day where I can go and just be the woman I dreamed of being as a little girl.

My little girl image of a grown up woman was a mixture of 10 % Wonder Woman, 10 % Morgan Fairchild ("Dallas", anyone?), and 60% my mother with the other 20% being filled in by other random characters, such as Joan Jett.  I watched my mom apply liquid eyeliner every day and do her hair-I asked her where we were going.  She replied, "Nowhere, I just feel better after I put on my face."  I could see that she did, too.  Her mood was lifted, plus, she was gorgeous.  Morgan Fairchild gave me the impression that I would have a fancy bedroom and have my slippers at the bedside when ready for bed.  Which I do (not so much a fancy bedroom, but slippers by the bed, anyhow)...and I religiously apply cream to my hands and feet before bed as well.  Wonder woman instilled in me the idea that with the right accessories...boots, arm bands, corset-I could leap over buildings and fight injustice all while looking extremely hot.

So, as I do my make-up I have a special time to myself.  My husband knows that the kids should not be in the room with me during this time if at all possible.  He entertains them downstairs.  On weekdays I usually do this during Ever's (my 18 month old) nap or before she wakes. It's quiet and it's a luxury to sit at my vanity and do my thing.  Some days I put thought into my outfit...other days (like today), I'm in my husband's t-shirt and some shorts.  No matter about the outfit, I feel pretty.

If I think on how many times Eric (my husband) has commented on my appearance vs. housework it's a no brainer.  He very often thanks me for making the effort (even though he knows it's more for me than anything or anyone else), he may not say "Wow, you did your makeup," but he'll take a look at me and say something about how beautiful or how sexy I am. 

So, if you ever find yourself in a frumpslump (as I like to call it), bust out your makeup kit.  It doesn't take much-you know what your basics are that make you feel like yourself.  Take care of yourself...the laundry isn't going anywhere.

To Elle Magazine RE: Article "Find Your Bliss"

Rachel Combe's article in June's issue titled "Find Your Bliss" was interesting until I got to the part of the article discussing parenthood.  I wonder what "studies" she researched which said that "mothers get more pleasure from almost anything other than taking care of their kids.  The birth of a child causes a dramatic drop in marital satisfaction that doesn't recover until the children leave home."  I am a stay at home mom, I relocated with Teach for America after graduating magna cum laude , taught for three years, and decided to care for my child myself.  Yes, sometimes going to the bathroom is a challenge, maybe my nails are kind of haggard (which never would have happened before baby), BUT I do not find myself in the midst of caring for her thinking that I would rather be doing just about anything else at that particular moment.  On the contrary, I often find myself utterly grateful that I am privileged to be able to take the time off from my career to be the one who is caring for her and witnessing too many small miracles a day to catalog.  Was it a challenge on our marriage when our daughter was born?  Yes.  It was a challenge in the bedroom-but that has completely recovered and even gotten better.  Added to that, there is something very amazing about working as a team to care for a brand new human being who has entered your lives without an instruction manual-that aspect of our marriage received a big boost.  

It was an offensive article made even more so by the way the author goes on to see both sides of the argument for finding pleasure in running.  Really?  You can find the time to defend the pleasure found in a jog but can't be bothered to address the joys that most certainly do come with having a family?  

I thought that as women we had progressed beyond the feminism which declared that women were only allowed to be satisfied if they were defying tradition.  I thought we had come to a place in which a woman's decision to be more "traditional" and have a family was as respected as the choice to put career first because the point is that as women we can choose our own happiness.  Apparently Ms. Combe hasn't received that memo-her remark regarding getting our tubes tied because of what some studies say was imbecilic.  Her lack of respect for parents everywhere is just flat out insulting.