Eric, in true Eric fashion...made me get out of the house and into the city earlier this week. I used to LOVE doing so-in fact, I would leave Newark (where I taught) after school, drive to the train station, and go in to meet him and his work buddies for soccer games (followed by beer) as well as attend church there at my favorite place of worship thus far on the east coast, All Angels.
However, I have since lost that feeling of wanting to go all the time-true, we live an hour away rather than the half hour of yesteryear-but that is not what drives my lackluster response to proposed forays into the city. I'm not sure I can JUST blame it on motherhood, but something has really shifted for me. It's as if all the little ways I used to try to find at least some structure in my day in order for things to go smoothly has completely taken over my life...so much so that anything that would push me outside of that brings on anxiety.
The day I was supposed to head in arrived and it was not a very good day to begin with-I have been having a recurring allergic response to something which prevents me from wearing my beloved eyeliner and I went to see a dermatologist about it. She promptly prescribed a $390 cream which with our current insurance I get at the bargain price of $190. Yes, seriously. I did not buy said cream-treating it with emu oil and not wearing my usual stuff seems to be working nicely, thank you. After that-it was a rush to get Ever fed and napped followed by another rush to make our house look a little bit presentable for grandma-who was so generously staying over to babysit. Somewhere in the midst of this it hit, the anxiety headache that ALWAYS seems to strike when I have to leave her and go anywhere further than a half hour away. It freaks me out-no matter how much I trust she will be okay and is in great hands-the headache arrives. Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Anyhow-after all of the anxiety and rushing-I finally left-proceeded to miss my train, and drove in. It ended up being a great night. We hung out in this relaxed almost divey bar with pool tables, ping-pong, chess, and a Five Guys (delicious burgers) on the corner we ordered take out from (this bar lets you bring in your own food, awww yeah). One of my besties showed up-chola code name, Chygirl-and we drank (Not too much-I had to drive home, remember?), chatted, and shushed each other when our favorite song sections came on-the second place we went to played In Rainbows in it's entirety....nice!! Add to that: Having a night out with my man, laughing with friends, and just doing something we hadn't done in a really lo-ho-hoong time..
Upon picking up the car, I found out it only cost $12 to park there for nights-I couldn't believe it-$12 to park a car in Manhattan overnight anytime after 4 p.m. Yup-everything turned out fine, well worth the headache.
So, mommies-if you are like me and a little resistant to your man's efforts to do something outside of your comfort zone, give it a chance! The little bit of stress involved in doing it will be rewarded in the moments of just feeling like YOU again. Not mommy you, wife you, work you-just the woman inside of all of these definitions-when you get back home you will feel renewed and will also have a healthy sense of priority. How important is it to have a super-clean organized home when you don't take time to enjoy the people living in it? (That includes you, mama.)