Monday, September 27, 2010

Uncertain Witness

I have to admit, I'm kind of in the neighborhood of terrified regarding the possible "cabin fever" that might be on the horizon for myself and Ever as colder weather approaches.  A pretty consistent part of our routine involves fresh air in the form of playground outings, beach visits, and walks.  I know that there will still be the opportunity to do these things albeit in our jackets...I also know that there will be days when the weather is just too yucky for it.

I'm sure that I can find many things for Ever to learn during this time, but it's also a time for me to get outside of the box-literally-when I get outdoors.  I'm sure you'll see some postings in the coming weeks regarding what I'll be doing about it.

Today is rainy, so I busted out with a notebook and pencil.  Everlyse was overjoyed at the prospect of expressing herself on paper (which you can see on the youtube link).

I just don't want to fail her in some way.  It doesn't seem to matter how much I give for her or my family, somehow I have a nagging feeling inside of me that it isn't enough.  My brain says it is, but apparently my brain can't tell my feelings what to do.

I'll continue to do my best and live with the nagging-maybe tell that voice to shut her yammering once in a while so that I can enjoy this exquisite little creature that God so graciously bestowed me with.  I am present in so many life moments with her in a way that I know I've been before when face to face with a miracle (the whisper of leaves, the light bulb going off over a child's head when an idea is given birth to, the rising up of pure joy in the form of laughter).  What I'm witnessing with Ever is something incomparable and wondrous to behold.

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